Depression is not written across your face. Your friends don’t know, Your family doesn’t know DON”T keep it locked in….
Recently, I heard a man say he didn’t look sad.
Depression is a disease, it does required attention and assistance. There are no visual affects. There are celebrities who are paid millions of dollars (to this day, I don’t know why, that’s a different story). People with depression are better actors than those who are paid. As people with depression only want you to see what they want you to see.
Today, I find myself thinking about my friend, we are approaching their second anniversary of them deciding to leave this world. They had what we all thought was a perfect life. A job we would all love to have. Single, Wealthy and tons of friends. My friend moved to Northern California and left a lot of people who cared behind. They were adventurous, they were about succeeding and very very goal oriented. I hadn’t seen my friend in a few years, but texted with them a few nights each week. If I was going to be in the area they would be very excited and want to get together, unfortunately my plans always fell apart.
I have insomnia and most nights while others sleep, I will be playing games on my phone or something that shows i’m online. My friend would also be awake and would text me, we would text for hours sending a lot of emoji’s smiles, lol’s and other silliness.
I never knew my friend had any sadness or underlying thoughts. Healthy, body, mind and soul. I remember now that the only thing out of character was when the political world changed my friend became very critical and more vocal.
Depression is not selfish, it doesn’t know how to be. It’s been looking for help and guidance and keeps being ignored. The medical community does not recognize depression. The police who are to protect you, don’t understand as well. If they succeed in helping you not to take your life, they bound you in handcuffs and put you in a squad car. If, the police are asked to do a check on your home as you might have suicidal thoughts, they will come and ask questions and leave. *This is not pertaining to all Peace Officers
I think with all my heart about those you suffer from depression,of their pain and the anger they feel. They don’t want to leave anyone behind and have them feel their pain. Normally, No note of goodbye or why, Maybe earlier it was mentioned by a certain smile, a moment during a conversation or an enlightening text. I don’t know how depression starts, is it at birth, does it grow as a person grows I don’t know.
I know I am a person who could have fallen into a deep depression. My life was heading there. My mom passed away and I know she suffered from depression, it was never mentioned. I watched her struggles and now as I’m an older woman I see them through my tears. Unfortunately, before she passed there was nothing I could do.
My mom grew up as the second child of 18 children she wanted an escape. (my grandmother had been pregnant 26 times). I know in my heart my mother wanted freedom, she married my dad and left.
Within a few years she became pregnant and immediately after birth that child died, It was six years later I was born. My father had a job that kept him away from home for months at a time. I grew up with a single parent. When times were bad for her I would see her demeanor change and other characteristics, maybe as a small child I should not have witness those things. My mother had been approaching the age of 30 when she had me. I know she loved me and I’m grateful I wasn’t given to foster care or aborted. She had those options and she could have left without my father knowing.
I know my mother never wanted children. She was a great actress, not from TV or movies she knew how to convince people she was a shining star and everyone loved her. She would come home and be a completely different person.
She never said anything to me.
Growing up in the 60’s, I would listen to my mothers women friends talk about how they they couldn’t cope. Cope? Doctors didn’t understand what WOMEN were talking about, more or less they were losing their marbles and needed psychiatric help.
I’m not sure if depression that invades into some bodies isn’t stuff that is overheard, afraid or pass down information especially if a psychiatrist is involved or the farm aka hospital. I have never done any type of research but, I wonder how many patients were misdiagnose and were suffering from depression.
In the 70’s depression was more of a everyday strain on life and everything was more about Anxiety. Jokes were made; you’re getting on my last nerve, Stressed spelled backwards is desserts, The bigger the headache the bigger the pill. Everything was mentioned but still not depression, Every one was labeled with anxiety.
In 1971 my mother delivered her last child. He was born sick and stayed sick for the first six months of his life. No husband at home (yeah, he was home nine months earlier). She continued to play the single parent enduring everything. Her personality was fading , she kept up appearances and smiles but life behind the door was not easy.
She would stare out of a window for hours , she wouldn’t speak in the house, she was distant. Outside she was a facade.
My mother lived until 1991 and I never asked her if she was happy!
Everyday, people die from depression, we hear about it on TV when it’s a celebrity and we get mad at how they deprive us, how selfish they are, Why would you do this and so on. When our world truly sees and recognizes this disease maybe people will stand up and understand pain.
My insurance open enrollment was 2 half weeks ago and I read each page line by line and not one mention of depression. A wellness program for health, gym, pilates, weight watchers and massage, But no depression. Anxiety coverage if the doctor diagnosed.
When we hear of a passing and it’s of depression our immediate response is to HELP! Let’s change everything make everyone aware of the disease.
The comments appear on Social media, I’m sorry, Why?, I would have listened, How dare you and more. Soon, the let’s change disappears and we move forward and the disease is still there.
I have been around a few friends who have committed suicide due to depression, not one let a note, it doesn’t seem like its thought out, it just happens immediately.
My friend had been on the phone a few days prior to their death and had sounded strange, they said, if you send a police officer over to check on me and they do I will shoot myself. Well, the police did go and only asked if they were alright? the reply was yes! No one knows if they shot themselves after the police left or it was later that day. (just them having a gun was out of character, HATED guns)
If you are ever greeted with Hi How are you, Please answer and ask that person and the next the same question. Take a moment from your day to listen. It’s so easy to walk with your head looking down, look up, smile, say hello! If someone you love is having a bad day talk to them don’t think it’s being just sad. If you are experiencing any sort of depression don’t feel embarrassed go and talk somebody ask for help! If your happy child suddenly dims, talk with trust they need to know they can talk to you about anything and everything.
National Suicide Prevention Hotline 800-273-8255
You don’t have to be alone
Depression let someone know…………. (I’m not a doctor but, I can help you find one).